He that plated the ear, shall he not hear?

He that formed the eye, shall he not see?

Psalms 94:9

Will the creator of irony lack a sense of humor?

Awakening

For a few moments we stood silently, stunned. The girl’s hand slipped into my own, almost of its own accord.  She looked at me – her face showed a mix of dismay and distaste. I voiced both our feelings –

“Oh, no. Here we go again. Doesn’t it ever stop?”

She dropped my hand.

“I suppose”, she said, “that I have to get ready to replay the role of the arch-bitch of history to keep a future bunch of self-righteous old misogynists employed.”

“I wonder”, I replied. “The way in which we both got here suggests that is room for variation. Maybe this merry-go-round is not entirely pre-determined.”

“What’s your name?”, she asked.

“Oh, whatever you like”, not wanting to break a train of thought. “What would happen if I were to break the rule instead of you?”

“That’s odd. I don’t remember my last name – just a whole string of them going back …. Hey, why should anyone break the rule? If we already know the plot, why bother to play the game? Anyway, it’s nice here.”

“OK. Let’s sort out names. I don’t remember my last name either – I do recall a whole list of them.”

Both of us stood stunned and speechless. The most mind-numbing part of it, was that we both had an idea of what was coming but nevertheless its happening was a shock – like a mental blow. I felt silly, and from the look on the girl’s face, she felt the same way. For want of anything better, I asked, “And what do we call you?”

“Alright. Listen, both of you. Names do not really matter, but for the sake of simple convenience, you will be Adam and Eve for exactly the same reason those names were used previously.”

“Adam, you are correct: There is room for variation.”

“Eve, it may be nice here but you will eventually have to leave. And you do not have to become the epitome of evil on your way out.”

“The issue is under what circumstances will you leave and to what purpose.”

In the meantime, welcome to the Garden of Eden, Version 2-3.0. This one, like previous versions, is tailored to the personality of its two primary residents, namely yourselves.”

Both of us stood stunned and speechless. The most mind-numbing part of it, was that we both had an idea of what was coming but nevertheless its happening was a shock – like a mental blow. I felt silly, and from the look on the girl’s face, she felt the same way. For want of anything better, I asked, “And what do we call you?”

“I will not be labeled; but for convenience I have been known by many names you already know typically relating to my perceived attributes. Take your choice”.

I was starting to get wits back together. “How about just ‘You’?”

“Fine.”

“How about a protocol for starting and terminating a dialog?”

“Do you think that I don’t know when you are about to address me or someone else? Your very question says that you are already on the road to the same mistake as your predecessors. However, your concern is a very human one. I will minimize the potential for communications mishaps between us by use of one of my agents whom you have already met. Look to your left.”

We both looked left as instructed. Coming towards us was a figure part human part something else. We both somehow instinctively recognized him or it. To me he was the man in the gray hat and raincoat. The girl clasped my hand and shuddered.

“Meet Snike.”

“Isn’t is supposed to be Snake?”, asked the girl.

“No Snike is actually an acronym for Synaptic Non-Intrusive Knowledge Enabler.”

“Version2.1-b/Snike-15a Mark 75, no doubt.” I just couldn’t resist it.

“Take care!“

“Any suggestions, questions or administrative issues you may have, should be addressed to Snike, who is the Garden Director and your Host. As usual, I am always available on call, but do remember that Snike represents Me in all matters for which he can supply answers.”

“Alright, Snike take over.”

“Hello! Indeed, we have indeed met before. To anticipate the usual questions I am asked, I am known variously and mostly incorrectly, as Sir Pent, Sar Tan, Meta-Tron, Sa-Nake and so on. In reality, I am just what you were told: The Garden Director and your Host. Moreover, I am at your service rather than the other way around. Most of the names by which I am known merely reflect the way that I reflect the will of my clients – who always blame me for the consequences.“

“Now then, if you look to your right, you will see a Notice Display with a map of the Garden. The grid is in whatever units you happen to think about. Mere thought will pan it in different directions as well as zoom it in or out. The grid does have a fixed origin, known as Ground Zero set at the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.“

“Please feel free to use all of the amenities, and all of the fruit and vegetable plantations. Do remember however, that you may not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil at Ground Zero.“

“If you have any questions or other needs – just ask.”

Snike

“And if we want to talk directly to Him”, I asked, “How do we ‘call’ as He said we could?”

“Now, why would you need to do that?”

“Mr. Snike, your very question says that you are already on the road to the same mistake as your predecessors!”

We sensed without hearing, a roll of rumbling laughter. Snike disappeared from sight and we were left alone staring at the Notice Display. The girl took my hand again in a tight grip evidencing disquiet. I also felt uneasy.

We walked quietly hand in hand to what appeared to be a grassy clearing and sat down half facing each other. The feeling was that we had sat down in a comfortably padded easy-chairs.

“This is weird”, said the girl. “Should I really call you Adam? Doesn’t it all seem like a corny replay?”

“Yes, to both”, I replied. “But I’m not buying into a replay of anything.”

“It scares me, but I’m with you. What do we do?”

“Do you remember what He said? Eventually we will have to leave here and then, under what circumstances and to what purpose. What did He mean?”

“And I suppose”, said the girl, “that as usual, I am to be the trigger of our leaving here. It’s still a corny replay.”

“Let’s take a walk”, I suggested. “First I want to see this Ground Zero and its famous tree. Then we come back here and ask Him a few questions.”

“Isn’t that a bit dangerous?”

“No. Your predecessor exaggerated the original instruction and it just got her into trouble. Looking is OK and cost nothing. I don’t want to mess with the rules, I just want to see what this is all about.”

We walked over to the Notice Display and observed where we were relative to Ground Zero and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

“Hold my hand”, I commanded.

She took my hand and …woof … we were standing just outside Ground Zero.

Ground Zero was a grassy hill with ring of brightly colored stones about 50 meters in diameter. In the middle stood a small unimposing fruit tree. It looked like a leafy fig tree. The fruit looked like large ripe green and purple figs and there was a subtle sweet scent in the air.

“What’s so special about that?” asked the girl.

And lo, there was Snike, sitting under the tree, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hello. It didn’t take you two very long to get here!”

Snike reached up and picked off a fruit and commenced to noisily slurp away at it.

“Well, well. Have you finally come to find out about Good and Evil and become like Him?

“Cut the crap, Snike. We both know that line as well as you.”

“No, you don’t. I’m eating away as I do at least once a day with no ill effects.”

“Wrong!”, I barked. “You are not human. You are as He said, an Agent, a robot, a thing, a servant designed to reflect our wishes.”

“Oh, really. And what do you really think you are? You are not truly human until you try this.” Snike picked off another fruit and held it out to us.

This time the girl laughed – a bitter laugh. “And tell me Snike, can you do what we can do?”

“What can you do?”

“I’ll show you shortly. But first, give me the fruit!” Snike handed her the fruit and I stood horrified.

The girl held it, looked at it carefully, looked at Snike and then threw it. It exploded in his face with a sticky purple sploosh.

“Time to go”, said the girl who taking my hand, lead me dumbfounded back toward the Note Display.

—————–

Another Divine Chuckle

And so, we were back at the Note Display.

“What made you do that?”, I asked the girl.

“You are really dense. I just broke the replay merry go round.”

“And what did you mean when you asked Snike if he could do what we can do?”

The girl looked at me with a mischievous grin.

“You really are dense. Just use your imagination. Don’t you remember how we met?”

—————–

I moved my limbs, stretched and breathed deeply and sat up. Alongside me slowly coming awake, lay the most sublimely beautiful female, I could ever have hoped to see. We were both stark naked, with young the healthy bodies of about twenty-year-old biological age. We looked at each other without a trace of coyness.

Without exchanging a word, we both sensed that we had been endowed with the knowledge and the experience of old, very old people, alive maybe thousands of years, the accrued Wisdom of Generations. We were a pair of ancient twenty-year old’s.

—————–

Again, we both sensed without hearing, a roll of rumbling laughter.

© Daniel Feiglin, 30/05/2009